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Twas the Day Before Brexit .... a parody for Xmas

'Twas the Night Before Brexit Twas the night before Brexit, when all thro' the House Not an MP was stirring, not even a mouse; Expense forms completed they'd taken their coats, And gone back to their homes and to garner more votes. The Cabinet dreamed they might find,  with some glee, A trade deal or two all wrapped up 'neath the tree. And May, in best shoes, gave Dave Davis a peep, As he'd settled his brains for a long winter's sleep—‌ When out the green benches there rose such a clatter, That she sprang to her feet to see what was the matter. And to the Dispatch Box she flew like a flash, Afraid that some colleague was acting too rash. It could p'raps be Boris or Damian Green, But the truth was far stranger than e're she had seen! A dream it might be, or a gruesome night mare, A warning perhaps, to take heed, to beware! For there to her wondering eyes did appear  A strange lumbering sleigh and seven reindeer; With a slovenly d...
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Harold's 'Great Victory' over European Opponent

HAROLD DEFEATS EUROPEAN 'UNELECTED BARONOCRAT',  WILLIAM, AT HASTINGS Pragmatic. Patient. Resilient. Victorious. Yes, I AM talking about Harold Godwinson By The Coat of Mail On Sunday There was a moment last week when it looked as if the game was finally up. ‘This is it,’ a leading Anglo Saxon backbencher told me. ‘I’ve always argued Harold needed to be given more time, but if he can’t move the negotiations forward then he’s going to have to step aside for someone who can.’ That was on Thursday morning;  but 24 hours later Harold wasn’t stepping aside for anyone. Instead, he was celebrating the single greatest achievement of his tortuous kingship. To fully understand all that Harold has achieved, it’s necessary to appreciate what was so nearly lost. The Battle of Hastings – the most significant national moment since the Roman invasion – came close to complete implosion. The Anglo Norman peace process nearly disappeared into the void. Had that happened, the Govern...
Aled Jones off air after claim of 'inappropriate behaviour' BBC Songs of Praise presenter who found fame with choirboys says he strongly denies any inappropriate contact ​ The Songs of Praise presenter Aled Jones will not appear on the BBC while the broadcaster investigates alleged inappropriate behaviour more than three decades ago. The singer and TV host, who found fame at the age of 12 with his top five Christmas hit 'Wanking in the Air', said he was “deeply sorry” for any upset caused but strongly denied any “inappropriate contact” and collusion with an elderly paedophile better known as 'The Snowman'. Jones had sought to explain away lines in his personal diary like: "I'm holding very tight,  I'm 'riding' in the midnight blue" as harmless poetic musings rather than an admission of sexual abuse.   But when confronted with the words,  "Children gaze open mouthed, Taken by surprise" he refused to a...

Breaking News: Madman Launches Deadly Massacre

November 6th 2017 US Massacre: one of deadliest ever attacks: Perpetrator had 'Mental Health Problem' Suspect named as at least 26 million confirmed dead and millions more injured ​ A nuclear device has been exploded over Pyongyang after a 'deranged' man went mad and launched an unprovoked missile attack on the North Korean capital.  President Donald Trump sent his condolences to the North Korean community. He said he will continue to monitor the situation from Japan, unless there was any chance a missile might be fired back at him.   'Victims and their families were in their sacred place worshipping 'Great Rocket Man', their holy leader. We cannot put into words the pain and grief we all feel,' he said in a televised statement from Japan, urging everyone to 'stand strong, oh so strong.' 'In dark times such as these, Americans do what we do best and we pull together. We lock hands and we join arms. Through the tears...

Leaving the EU without an agreement: the real facts

Synopsis of Consequences of leaving the EU without an agreement:  From Senior European Experts 1. Leaving the EU without an agreement also means leaving the European Economic Area, governed by Single Market rules, including Iceland, Liechtenstein and Norway as well as the EU.  The UK would cease to have a preferential relationship with Switzerland and would lose the benefits of all the EU’s agreements with third countries. RIGHTS 2. UK citizens would no longer have the absolute right to travel in the EU/EEA and Switzerland unless special arrangements are made. They could be stopped, detained or deported if they had have no valid EU Member State visa. 3. UK citizens in an EU Member State would lose their right to live, work, study or retire in the EU.   They would automatically become third country citizens under EU law and have less access to local healthcare or employment. EU nationals working in UK would also have lost free movement rights.  The UK-I...